Get Crafty!

Location: Lakeview Nursing and Rehabilitation Center

Date: Sunday, August 04, 2013; 2:30-4:00 pm

‘Pulchritudinous’; Adjective; “Characterized by or having great physical beauty and appeal”

This has always been a favorite of mine and one of the projects that I sign up for well in advance.  Wilson picked me up and we arrived at Lakeview Nursing to see that Alisa required help carrying all the supplies inside.  Today we were going to be painting and decorating wine and other glasses and Alisa had picked up a lot of them.  Besides us, we had 6 other volunteers including Fran.  While Wilson and I put newspaper over the various tables to protect from spillage, Alisa arranged all of the supplies and there were plenty.  We could paint the glass, apply glue and then sprinkle glitter, followed by application of something called Mod Podge.  I had never used the stuff before and had no idea what it looked like.  However, it seemed like the thing to have since it apparently dries clear and helps glitter stick.  Well, as is usually the case, I was learning something new again.

Latasha's glass

Before we began, Alisa taped up the top of the glasses where the lips would touch since we did not want to get any of the paint there.  Mary, who is a regular for many of the other events was very excited at the project and said that she knew exactly what she was going to be doing with her set of the glasses.  Well, that made one of us!  I went over to one of the ladies and asked if she wanted to decorate anything.  She said that she indeed would and asked for a big wine glass, since bigger meant it could hold more wine!  I certainly could not argue against that and sat down to observe her.  She said that her name was Latasha and said that she wanted to put pink glitter on her glass.  She said that pink was her favorite color, not surprising considering she was wearing a lot of it.  Well at least if it got on her it would not be visible.  She referred to me as a “Dynamic young man”, though I really wasn’t of much help besides getting her the supplies.  We put some glue on the glass and then sprinkled the glitter, which as was to be expected, went everywhere.  Alisa came over to check and said that we should put some of the Mod Podge on top, though Latasha was not so sure of that and considering I had never used the stuff before, I had to go by her judgment. 

And Faye's

Mary was making excellent progress on her glass and also had time to show some of the volunteers around her pictures of the facility from 2011.  I could recognize some of the residents, along with some of the volunteers.  Seeing that Latasha was fairly independent, I went and joined Faye, who was clearly struggling to work by herself.  She was trying to put some dots on her glass, though her lack of coherent speech made it difficult of me to understand her.  She had a stencil with a flower and I said that we should paint over that using bright colors.  I got yellow for the petals and orange for the center and Faye put those over the stencil.  We then flipped the colors, using orange for petals and a yellow center for another flower on the glass.  Faye was very quite, though I could discern purple as being one of her favorite colors.  I looked for purple paint and had to trade with another table to get her some!  Faye was happy to have it and proceeded to make more dots.

In the meanwhile, Latasha had been joined by a gentleman who was painting using a stencil and she was holding up the glass for him.  I told her that I would take over and what followed was one of my most entertaining sessions at this place.  Since it was a Pilsner glass, I said it would be great for him to drink beer out of it when finished.  He responded that it would be a long time before he could “Blow this joint” so as to enjoy beer.  He introduced himself was Elmer and was chatting non-stop.  Now, there have been many others who have proven to be talkative, but there was something about him that was different.  For one, he seemed well read and was coherent, with a cutting edge sarcasm.  Furthermore, it was clear that he appreciated the company of ladies and even referred to one of our volunteer’s golden hair as something on a fairy-tale princess.  I was urging him to paint between the stencil openings and he called me “Productive”.  I asked if I should introduce myself that way and he said yes.  Once the stencil pattern had been pained, Alisa came and asked if he was done and he said “According to the other in the know how, yes”, referring to me.  I said “Not on my watch” and got him another stencil.  Grumbling, he started with that and I made sure he was coloring well.  He said that he wasn’t “Van Gough coloring within the lines” and then proceeded to call me “Precise”. 

I worked Elmer "like a rented mule" for this

At this stage Latasha was laughing and I said that now I was “Productive, Precise and not to forget, Dynamic”.  Elmer said that I should put it on my business card and add to my LinkedIn profile as well.  I was having loads of fun and not wanting to give an inch, got him another stencil and different color to paint with, at which he promptly referred to me as “Thoughtful”!  I saw some hot sauce and spice powder in front of him and asked him about it, at which he responded that it “Always helps to be prepared”.  I wanted to extract the maximum from him and so got him yet another stencil.  Now he referred to me as “Creative” and that I was “Working him like a rented mule”.  I mean come on!

Seeing his penchant for words, I asked if he was a teacher.  He said yes, a graduate assistant in a business school.  He was originally from New York and started questioning another volunteer who had just moved her as to why anyone would want to do that.  By this time everyone was paying attention and Fran was in splits.  I asked Elmer if he knew Wilson and he responded, “Like the volleyball in Castaway?”  I said yes, and he immediately started seeking Wilson.  I pointed him out and mentioned that Elmer may be the only person who doesn't know Wilson, at which point he said that perhaps he should work with Wilson.  He then proceeded to needle Wilson with his non-stop chatter.  I asked him if he had any other adjectives and that’s when he said, “Pulchritudinous”.  What?  Really, what?  I asked him to spell it and he said it meant “Characterized by beauty” and didn't quite apply to me, as much as the ladies who were there.  Now I really shouldn't argue against that, but I wanted to have the last word and said that it wasn’t fair since I could have beauty at which he shook his head.  Well, I tried!

Priceless, all of them!

The project was at an end and Alisa told everyone not to wash the glasses for 10 days since we were not baking them.  Mary had done a fantastic job with her glasses and everyone had a great time, not least me.  Elmer said that he had better start coming for these things since he gets to be surrounded by such lovely ladies.  I said not to forget “Productive, precise, thoughtful, dynamic and creative men.”  He laughed and took his sauces with him, saying he would see me at dinner time.  As we cleaned up, Alisa said that she was pleased with the project and had been nervous how they would handle working with glasses.  But everyone had been involved, including Faye who had struggled quite a bit but managed to make something as well.  Plus, we had been thoroughly entertained by Elmer and I had even learned a new word!  We left the glasses to dry and while none of them would probably sell at a gift shop, because of who had made them, to me each of them were pulchritudinous. 

“Art, art of any kind, shows that folks are trying.” Walter Kirn

*All the client's names have been changed in order to respect their privacy