Location: The Imperial Nursing Home
Date: Saturday, February 23, 2013; 2:30-3:30 pm
I had to get to uptown after
being beyond the West loop in the morning and a little over an hour to do
so. This meant a quick stop at Starbucks
rather than my usual Saturday lunch, which tends to be a bit relaxed. I had been to Imperial Nursing twice before
for Bingo, but never for this event. The
activities room was on a different floor and I arrived with another volunteer
Theresa to find all the seniors gathered in their wheelchairs, forming a
semi-circle and listening to Simon &
Garfunkel. But that’s all they were
doing, sitting still.
“Hello, darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk
with you again”
Listening to ‘Sound of Silence’, in that setting was so chillingly appropriate,
that it was a mind numbing sensation. There
was no emotion on their faces, no response to particular note of music or
lyric. They seemed to be waiting, but
for whom? As much as I would like to say it was for us, I do not think it was for anyone.
“I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why”
The Volunteer leader was none
other than our pal Wilson, and in his usual style; he had dispatched a long
email. Wilson
has a knack of humanizing Chicago Cares programs, something that the short
description on the website is unable to do.
I will get to that aspect at the end of this article. He had gone on to describe the rules and
the process of the game with such precision, that any Quiz Master would have
been proud. He told us to make sure that
the residents answered the question and that we were required to support and encourage them
with praise. If things were to work out
the way Wilson had described, this was going to be a lot of fun. Irrespective of all of that, our main job was
to help the residents through the isolation and loneliness for at least one
afternoon.
"I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That
none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain
It's
laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock, I am an island"
.JPG) |
| The prizes |
Soon Brad arrived followed by
Fran. I had met them on multiple
projects and we discussed how the afternoon was going to unfold. Brad is also a volunteer leader for the project
and started laying out the prizes on a cart.
The objective was to ensure that everyone left with at least one
prize. There were also some cookies and
other treats. Brad mentioned that we
were going to quiz on three categories, ‘Academy
Awards’, since tomorrow was Oscar’s night; ‘Black History’, since we were in that month and ‘Romance’, well since its February! I don’t know about the other two, but having
seen all of the ‘Best Picture’
Academy Award winning films, and most of the nominated ones, I liked my chances
in that category.
“And I'm one step ahead of the shoe shine
Two steps
away from the county line
Just trying to keep my customers satisfied
Satisfied”
Wilson arrived soon after, having
just wrapped up another project that morning. We split the teams into four groups with Fran
helping Team A, Theresa with Team B, and me floating from Team's C to D,
depending on who had the question. Brad
was the Quiz Master and Wilson was keeping the score and the time. We started with Academy Awards and to be
quite honest, the question completely stumped me. Fran’s team managed to get the answer though
and we moved to Team B and they had Black History Month, which they managed to
get as well. During both of these
questions, there was a lot of coaxing from the volunteer team leaders as well
as the nursing home assistants, who had joined the game as well. All of them were truly operating as a team, and it was a brilliant sight.
“Old friends, memory brushes the same years
Silently
sharing the same fears”
For Team C we got a question on “Which actress Winston Churchill proposed marriage
too”. I had no idea but a hint was
given that she belonged to Hollywood royalty with multiple generations in
films. From this I guessed that it must
have been one of the Barrymore’s and I said that her granddaughter was chased
by 'E.T.' My team got the ‘Barrymore’ part
right and the question passed to Team D, which I was heading as well. Only one of the residents from Team D was
participating and even though she was very enthusiastic, her memory was failing
her. The question passed to Team A, and
Fran had on her side an elderly lady who was one of the most enthusiastic
participants that I have seen. She kept
standing up and giving answers even when it wasn't their turn and Fran and Brad
had to keep telling her not to give away the answers. Wilson did not care much, he was just enjoying
himself.
“Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the
morning last
Just kicking down the cobble stones
Looking for fun and feelin'
groovy.”
For Team D the question was “Who won the best Actress on her debut role
in Funny Girl in 1968”. We all knew the answer to be Barbara Streisand and so tried to prompt Team D with various hints
ranging from her being a singer, to her having a big nose, but it was to no avail. Once again Team A swooped in, and in doing so, took a
commanding lead. In the next round Team
A got a question on Spencer Tracy and Kate Hepburn’s last movie, which of
course is ‘Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner’. The movie is well known for being
Spencer Tracy’s last role and the scene between him and Hepburn where he talks
about love is one where the lines between cinema and real life are completely
erased, because everyone knew about their off-screen relationship.
"And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once
held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you"
Since the movie also features Sidney Poitier, this question prompted
the enthusiastic lady from that team to jump up and come towards us yelling the
answer. She was totally into it now and
Fran was partly laughing and partly trying to control her. The lady asked us if we knew why she knew the
answer. When we said no, she said that it was because she was once a travelling companion of Sidney Poitier. Brad asked if she meant assistant and she
said travelling companion, whatever that meant.
Hmm.
"Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine"
The quiz continued with questions
such as “Best Picture of 2000”, which
was ‘Gladiator’, at which I mentioned
to Wilson how it was an injustice that ‘Crouching
Tiger Hidden Dragon’ did not win that year; a movie which I have called ‘subliminal’ at times. “You do
know a lot about movie”, Wilson said and I nodded. Other questions were Team D getting a simple
one on Romance, “Which city is known as city of
love”; and despite many prompts from all of us, they could not get ‘Paris’.
A city of love indeed.
“And when you ran to me
Your Cheeks flushed with the
night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight I held your hand”
One funny incident was when a
question was asked, “Which movie won Academy
Award 20 years after it was made”, and once hint was given that it was
Chaplin’s film, I knew the answer. I
hinted that it’s title could be split into two words, first a fruit and next
something that was all around us. Wilson
understood immediately, but Fran and Brad were in splits when I told them it was
‘Limelight’. I mentioned that it was the only film with
Chaplin and Buster Keaton, two giants who built Hollywood and the likes of whom
this world may never see again.
“Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
A nation turns its
lonely eyes to you”
Team D was doing really poorly
and part of the problem was me. Whereas
Fran and Theresa were helping their team, I was not speaking up for Team D,
even if I knew the answer. The next
question’s answer was ‘Woody Allen’
and I knew it. I gave them several hints
saying he’s from New York, writes, acts and directs etc. When there was no response,
Wilson whispered that I should just do it and I gave the answer, which put our
team on the board. I looked at the lady
on Team D who had been trying desperately and told her that we had finally scored some points. The look on her face was
something which had made this wait worthwhile.
“Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That's an easy thing
to say
But if your hope should pass away
It's simply pretend
That you can
build them again
Look around, the grass
is high
The fields are ripe, it's the springtime of my life”
.JPG) |
| The final score |
The quiz continued for a total of
five rounds and we had a great time, especially for a question where the answer was ‘Laurence Olivier’ winning for ‘Hamlet’, a performance which lived up
to the first half of the title! I said
that his wife is also a two time winner for ‘Best
Actress’ and nobody knew that he used to be married to Vivian Leigh. We totaled the score and not surprisingly,
Team A had won. Brad went around
offering the prizes to them, but no one was going back empty-handed. Everyone got to pick, including Team D. It was never about bragging rights. It was
about showing that we care, something more than just a dollar store gift can say.
“Tonight I'll sing my songs again
I'll play the game
and pretend
But all my words come back to me
In shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness
in harmony
I need someone to comfort me”
Wilson and I discussed the
Academy Awards coming up on Sunday, especially Ang Lee’s chances as ‘Best Director’, as I was hoping he
would win. We left together and the five
of us had really been Chicago Cares ‘All Stars Team’, just due to the
programs that we do. Based on Wilson’s
email from the previous day, perhaps it was appropriate that it was us this
afternoon. I will quote him verbatim,
“Totally Trivia is a new program at Chicago
Cares, and we are designing a game model that can include and accommodate
seniors with mobility and other sensory limitations, and fine tuning it to make
it the most entertaining and fun project at Chicago Cares. The game also helps the seniors exercise
memory recall and encourage them to participate in social activities in their
community. It will ultimately help
reduce the sense of isolation experienced by many seniors in their daily
lives. Nobody should feel alone in this
world. Your part will be joining the
trivia teams in collaborating and answering questions with your seniors, or you
can be the Quiz Master or Time and Score keeper. You will get some amazing conversation with
the residents from their life experiences. There are about 36 seniors
participating and their average age is 70+. That’s over 2500 years of wisdom
and life experiences you can tap into in one room! Our goal of the trivia game is to help all
residents of the nursing home participate regardless of any physical limitation
they may have. So you will see most
players on wheel chairs, some have diminished vision, hearing, or speech. Some
have limited hand and arm mobility. But
they ALL are capable of playing trivia; all they need is a little help and
kindness from us.”
And he was
right. The residents seem to have gotten
used to their solitude for so long that they need people like Wilson… people like us
to come in and make them realize that they are as much as part of this world as
the rest of us.
“I’m on your side, when times get rough
And friends
just can’t be found
Like a bridge over
troubled water
I will lay me down”
I was tired at this point, which
is typical after a multiple project day.
But what a day, and what great projects these had been. The exhaustion was only related to the body, not to my spirits. Never have I ever regretted my decision to follow this schedule.
“Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here
and gone
A man get tied up to the ground
He gives the earth It's saddest sound
It's saddest sound.”
Paul Simon may have written the
words to ‘I am a Rock’, but he also
wrote something else. Something that I
saw today in a tiny old lady who could barely stand up, but was jumping up out
of her chair and answering each question whether it was her turn or not, and
whether it was even the right answer or not.
That’s what it is all about. I
prefer to think that the following words apply to the residents, rather than
ones in ‘Sound of Silence’.
“In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his
trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut
him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
I am leaving, I am
leaving
But the fighter still remains”
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